Intergalactic Matchmaker
by killjoyplanetaryhydra
Summary: While hosting a small get-together with a few Alliance girlfriends, a slightly intoxicated Shepard is given a silly dare to create a profile on Intergalactic Matchmaker, the galaxy's most popular dating website. Worlds away, someone lonely and depressed searches for the company of a lover to fill the void and turns to the website as a last resort.
1. What Happened?

**Intergalactic Matchmaker**

**Chapter One: What Happened?  
**

She awakens with a start. It is 7:45 am Sunday morning according to the little black alarm clock sitting on the bedside table, whose green numbers shine much too brightly in the woman's dark room. Her curtains are drawn in an effort to keep the early morning sunlight out and there is a nasty, burning sensation in the back of her throat. Almost instantly, her stomach begins to churn and her head starts to pound. _No, no, no,_ she thinks to herself in a panic, clapping a hand hard over her mouth as she gingerly swings her long legs over the edge of the bed and rolls herself to a standing position. The pounding in her head increases in intensity, quickly becoming pulsating waves of agony and its all she can do to waddle to the bathroom door before last night's drunken meal of pizza, French fries and way too many jalapeno poppers comes up for a surprise reappearance.

_Should've seen that one coming..._ she thinks to herself as she wipes her mouth and slowly pushes herself up off the bathroom floor, clutching at her temples in an effort to keep the massive headache from splitting her head wide open. "Alright, Ana, get it together. You chose to drink, and now you have to suffer the consequences," Ana Shepard mumbles to herself, removing her hands from her head to wash her hands and grab ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.

Before the medicine has had time to kick in, Ana's bedroom door is thrown open and a shrill voice pierces the air. "Ana! Ana, where - oh, there you are. Jesus, you look like hell, what's the matter with you?" Hailey, Ana's roommate, asks as she rounds the corner into the bathroom, her sparkling blue eyes wide with concern.

"What's wrong with me? Four shots and a bottle of cheap tequila are what's wrong with me," Ana mutters through gritted teeth, green eyes shooting daggers at the cheerful and obviously not hung-over Hailey. "What do you want?" She turns to the mirror and winces at her messy haired, make-up smeared, blotchy reflection. _Hailey's right, I look like shit._ Grabbing her washcloth off the towel rack and pulling her long, red hair up into a ponytail, Ana gets to work gingerly scrubbing away remnants of last night's makeup.

"Oh, um..." Hailey begins, momentarily forgetting the reason she barged in to her roommate's bedroom so early in the morning after such a long night of drinking. "You know, you really shouldn't have had so much to dri-" Ana stops mid-wash to turn and glare once more at Hailey, who holds her hands up in defense. "I'm just saying. Anyway, uhh... Oh! Yeah, so I was getting on my computer and that website was still up... you have like, 20 messages."

"Hailey, my dear, I have no idea what you're talking about." Ana's voice is muffled as she blots her face dry with a towel, then reaches for her toothbrush.

"You know, that one... um... oh, what's it called. That dating website we signed you up for last night?" She absentmindedly starts snapping her fingers, trying to recall the name.

"What? Dating website? Hailey!" Ana exclaims through a mouth full of minty toothpaste, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I don't remember signing up for any dating website," she pauses to spit and rinse. "That is all your doing, I'm not taking part in any dating website. And by the way, how on Earth are you not hung over right now?" The redhead glances at Hailey as she re-enters her still dark bedroom. Hailey looks - as usual - perfect though she is dressed in a simple outfit of a form-fitting black tank top and jeans. Her long ebony locks are still wet from her morning shower, and her flawless skin is free of makeup.

Hailey and Ana had been friends for years; the two of them had joined the Alliance at the same time, and had become fast friends though they were polar opposites. Hailey was the stereotypical party girl, though she was incredibly intelligent and committed to her job; Ana, on the other hand, while also very intelligent and committed to her job had never been to a party in her life before she and Hailey had decided to rent an apartment together and very, very rarely took part in Hailey's get-togethers. Last night had been one of a handful of exceptions, as Hailey, Emily, Jenna and herself had been celebrating Em's most recent promotion. The four of them were finally all at the same level and very close to graduation - obviously cause for celebration. Emily and Jenna were their neighbors, and also happened to be Hailey's friends from grade school so of course the four hung out quite often.

"Maybe because I didn't down a bottle of cheap tequila like a certain loveable redhead I know. And as far as the dating website... I thought you might say that." Hailey smirks, coming to sit on the edge of Ana's bed while she peels herself out of last night's outfit and rummages in her dresser for a clean set of clothes. "I brought you some coffee," Hailey gestures to the steaming cup sitting on Ana's bedside table before continuing. The ebony-haired girl stands quickly, getting ready to dash out of Ana's room to avoid the death glares and protests that were sure to come. "I think you should give it a try, that website. You and I both know you're still not over your ex-" Hailey pauses to scan Ana's porcelain-skinned face for any obvious pangs of sadness at the mention of the "unmentionable ex" before rushing on. "Anyway, I've got to run to the store, my computer is in the kitchen. Please just look! Love you, bye!" With that, Hailey dashes out of Ana's room and heads for the front door before she can utter a single sound in protest.

Fifteen minutes later, freshly showered, dressed and feeling somewhat better, a hung over Ana shuffles into the kitchen where Hailey's computer sits idly on the counter – Hailey, however, is nowhere in sight. Ana sighs, takes a big swig of her still warm coffee and eyes the computer for a moment before taking a hesitant seat on the cushioned bar stool at the island. _Here we go,_ she thinks to herself. _What the hell did drunken me get sober me into?_

**A/N: Hello, everyone! I just wanted to say thank you for reading the first chapter - I am already hard at work at chapters two and three. Things will pick up soon, I promise. If you have any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, or any suggestions/things you want to see in later chapters, _please_ let me know! I would love to hear from you all. If there is anyone specific you want to see within these first few chapters, speak up. There is still room for change at this point! Again, thank you all so much. **


	2. Last Night's Drunken Antics, Part One

**Intergalactic Matchmaker**

**Chapter Two: Last Night's Drunken Antics, Part One**

"Ana! Hey! Are you almost ready?" Hailey called out for her roommate, black high heels click-clacking against the hardwood floor in the hallway as she headed for the living room. It was a rare, rare thing for Ana to join the three girls on a night out and Hailey could hardly believe her friend had agreed to join them tonight. Hailey, Emily and Jenna had been best friends since grade school and had had some sort of a Friday night tradition for almost just as long. As of late, that tradition had been going out for drinks at the new club around the corner – tonight, it was to celebrate their reassignment to the Citadel. The four of them along with a handful of others from their graduating class were scheduled to board a spaceship bright and early Monday morning and head for the stars. The trip from Earth to the Citadel would only take a couple of hours thanks to the mass relays.

Ana stepped out into the living room just as the doorbell rang. "Hey, lady, lookin' good," Hailey winked jokingly at Ana as she pulled the front door open to let the other two girls in. Ana smiled and nervously ran her hands through her long, red hair. She had never been the type to go out and party, and normally passed on Hailey's weekly invites to go to the new bar, D37, that had recently opened up around the corner from their apartment complex. This week, however, was different. It was their last week on Earth – and Ana was definitely ready to celebrate that. It meant the start of a new life, the chance to make something of herself – and the chance to get away from her ex-boyfriend, the former love of her life, Jacob Taylor.

Just the thought of his name brought the familiar sting of tears to her eyes and it was all she could do to choke them back. Quickly, before either of the girls had a chance to say hello to her, Ana made a break for the bathroom in the hallway, careful to shut the door behind her. Her long, slender fingers gripped the edge of the countertop firmly and she met her own green eyes in the reflection of the mirror. "Get your shit together, Ana." _If I splash cold water on my face, I'll have to re-do my makeup and that will take forever. _She sighed, opting instead for a drink of cold water until the sting behind her eyes began to subside.

_Tap, tap, tap._ "Ana?" Hailey was at the door, rapping gently on the other side. "Hey, are you ready to go? Emily and Jenna left to get us a table, so we should probably head out." With a deep breath, and another nervous smoothing of the hair, Ana pulled the bathroom door open and put on her brightest smile.

"Let's go get crunk!" The two girls stepped out into the living room headed for the front door, the click-clacking of their heels muffled by the thick cream colored carpet.

Hailey giggled, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow in Ana's direction. "Crunk? Have you been hanging out with Traynor again?" Samantha Traynor, while a good friend of both Hailey and Ana, was a bit socially awkward and had a bad habit of saying really old and silly phrases. Ana laughed and nodded as they stepped out into the hallway.

"You know you love her."

"Apparently not as much as you do! Though I will admit she has her moments." Hailey elbowed her friend in the ribs, wiggling her eyebrows at Ana as they linked arms and traipsed down the white-walled hallway towards the elevator, all thoughts of Jacob gone from Ana's mind. Traynor and Ana shared the same kind of commitment to their jobs, and had many classes together in the Alliance Academy. They had spent a lot of time together over the years and had become really good friends – and recently, Traynor had shyly confessed to having a crush on Ana. That had put a bit of an awkward damper on their friendship – while the idea of dating another girl didn't bother her in the least, she just wasn't ready for another relationship after the way things with Jacob ended. Sometimes, Ana didn't think she ever would be.

"-so what do you think?" There was a pause. Hailey glanced over at Ana, and instantly knew her head was in the clouds. "Hello, Earth to Ana, come in, Ana!" The ebony-haired girl gently nudged her friend who jumped, gave a slight shake of her head and turned to meet Hailey's gaze.

"Sorry, spaced out, what were you saying?" Hailey sighed, waved her hand in dismissal and turned to head into D37. Ana hadn't even realized they had left the apartment building, much less were stopped on the sidewalk outside of the club. She instantly felt bad for tuning out what Hailey was saying. "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… you know how I am, I just get so caught up in my thoughts." A sheepish smile graced her porcelain features as the two girls passed through the heavy wooden door. The pounding music inside enveloped them like a blanket, and Hailey had to lean in close to be heard.

"Don't worry about it, we will talk later. I'm going to grab us a round of shots to get started, you go sit with Emily and Jenna over there," she pointed through the throng of people to a booth where the two blondes were seated. Loud music pulsated throughout the club sending vibrations through Ana's slender figure, making her head feel fuzzy. _Shots already?_ Ana, the lightweight of the group, groaned in protest but did as she was told after a "no-nonsense" glare from Hailey.

Thirty minutes later and on round number three thanks to a group of gorgeous Asari by the bar, the four girls grabbed their third set of shot glasses.

"Bottoms up, girls!" Jenna exclaimed, quickly throwing back the drink.

"Oh, YUCK!" Emily made a face as she set the shot glass down on the table with a metallic _clink_, wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand. "What was that?"

Hailey, Ana and Jenna were too busy coughing and sputtering to answer; whatever it was, it was strong and it was bitter. The girls continued to yell at each other over the music – Ana, however, could not concentrate on their voices as she was beginning to feel more like a spinning top than a person. Hailey, taking note of Ana's sudden lack of interest in the conversation, stole a quick glance at her friend. It was evident that Ana was a goner. _Lightweight,_ she laughed to herself.

Eventually, the group of Asari came to join the human girls. Emily was the first to head for the dance floor with a certain blue beauty in tow; Jenna excused herself to the bar where she engaged in her weekly merciless flirting with the bartender; Hailey and an Asari who introduced herself as Biella got quite cozy in the booth opposite Ana and an Asari named Kasha, who happened to be part of the Illian Stars exotic dance troupe.

At first, Ana was unsure of how to respond to the Asari cozying up to her, but sooner than she would have liked to admit, liquid courage got the best of her. Ana had always been curious about the blue-skinned race and Kasha was charming, funny, sweet, and most of all, absolutely mesmerizing.

Kasha's cool hand stroked Shepard's as they talked, running lightly over each individual finger, swirling around and around in her palm and then back to the woman's fingers. The sensation sent goose bumps repeatedly up and down Shepard's arms as she talked about what life was like growing up as an army brat. Both of her parents had been part of the Alliance military, so they moved around from station to station never really staying in one place for more than a few years. Just as Shepard was beginning to explain why she followed in her parent's footsteps and enlisted at the age of eighteen, Kasha began to edge closer and closer, her fingertips trailing farther and farther up the woman's pale-skinned arm.

Ana, whose perception was heavily muddled by alcohol, took no notice of the Asari's slight but deliberate advances until they were sitting hip to hip with Kasha's hand resting just below the hem of her black skirt. Hailey and Biella, still sitting opposite Ana and Kasha were far too enthralled by one another to take any notice.

"I juss wanna do m'part for the world, y'know?" Shepard slurred, looking to Kasha – who was a lot closer than she was a few minutes ago. Out of surprise and nervousness, her heart began to race. Kasha's ocean blue gaze was intense – Ana felt her cheeks begin to heat, but did not dare turn away from the beautiful Asari. _There are worse things in life…_

A small smile graced Kasha's lips, the miniscule movement drawing Ana's attention away from her intense gaze. Before her muddled brain had a chance to register what was happening, the Asari's lips were just centimeters from her own. "Stop me now if you do not want this." Kasha's voice was smooth as honey, her breath warm and smelling faintly of strawberries. Ana hesitated for a brief second, taking the chance to meet Kasha's ocean gaze once more before shutting her eyes and closing the whisper of distance between their lips in response.

The kiss was gentle at first, new and unsure of itself. Kasha's hand began to slowly sink beneath the hem of Ana's skirt, up and up and up until her fingertips reached Ana's panties. She ran a finger lightly over the fabric, teasing, testing. A small moan escaped Ana's lips in response; the kiss deepened, sending burning fires of desire through her core. It was a strange feeling, the sensation of another mouth on her own after so long.

_Jacob._ Sharp pain shot through her gut, and all in an instant, the want that had been building inside her dissipated. Ana jerked back, her eyes shooting open. Kasha looked worried and disappointed, but made no move to stop her. _Drunk, I am so drunk_, the redheaded girl thought, the world spinning as she stood. _I have to get out of here._ Heartache quickly made her feel sick to her stomach, she took off for the door, shouldering past Jenna still flirting to no avail with the bartender on her way out.

"Ana, where are you going?!" Jenna's voice came after her, but Ana ignored it, drunken tears making her vision blurry. She stumbled through people, pushing them out of her way with nothing more than a mumbled "sorry," and tripped out the front door of the club. Home, though it was only around the corner and one elevator ride up, was way too far away.

A worried Jenna abandoned her hopeless flirting, and returned to the table where Hailey and Biella were still wrapped around each other. The other Asari was nowhere in sight. She reached out a manicured finger and tapped Hailey on the shoulder, leaning in as she yelled, "Grab Emily and meet me at your apartment, Ana just took off." With that, the girl jumped into action, giving her newly found "friend" a quick peck before heading towards the dance floor.

_Christ, what happened?_ Jenna thought to herself, pushing her way through the crowd of people to the door.


End file.
